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A Marquise of Our Time

 

 

ÒPilots of tremendous airships and even coarse, smelly coachmen are known to have been driven insane by a pair of green eyes and a copper curl.Ó

Vladimir Nabokov: Ada or Ardor

 

 

CONTENTS

 

Lucky Is the Author Who Doesn't Have to InventÉ

Jealousy Is a Wildcat from Mars

A Walk Along the Flooded Seine

Chez Michaux with Russian Femme Fatale and Mint Tea

A Phone Conversation Without Being Phony

Past Recaptured at CafŽ de Flore Brought to You by the Flirting Corporation

When Life Imitates Art and Vice Versa

Like the Seine, Quietly Flows the Verbal Foreplay

When I Was to Have the Fun of my Life, a Tourist Dropped in my SoufflŽ

Deconstructing Ida

A Fish and the Bicycle

Doucement mais sžrement, or A Patient Wolf Never Starves

Troubles with the Other Woman

The Best Literary Conversations Are Consummated in Bed

Breaking Thespian Legs in Paris

Monsieur X of Editions Y

A Most Inopportune Visit

If I Were the Dictator of United StatesÉ

Highs or Lows Life Flows or Blows

Stilted Life with Marquis, Coat of Arms, and Armagnac

Rubbing Knees with the Aristocratic Couple

Honesty Never Goes Unpunished

No Happy Ending

Man Ray's Imaginary Masterpieces

My Stalingrad Commences chez King of Expats

Take Your Pleasure and Run!

When in Doubt Trust your Dirty Mind!

Self-Censorship: Literature's Worst Nightmare

Never Underestimate Your Last Day in Paris

Unexpected Addition to an Unending Story

Stalled Angel Ascending

 

 

 

Lucky Is the Author Who Doesn't Have to InventÉ

 

Light of my art, trickster of my heart, my letters may reach you in Montparnasse, but your real address is MonParnasse. From the summit of my mythical mountain, you beckon the tireless climber. Every drop of perspiration is a river of inspiration, every word echoed down to me -un bon mot. You're my twin mate separated by fate.

 

Zola wrote Nana to condemn the sexual overload of La Belle Epoque, a turn-of-the-past-century paradise which the French are mourning still. He gave birth to a snow-white Venus (not on frothy waves but on bubbling champagne) with a talent for manipulating the bourgeois hounds chasing her, extracting bullion and anteroom praises with her origine du monde in all its pink glory. An intelligent woman in his opinion would have been a mistake. The only indulgence granted: she had to be good-natured.

But what if an author wishes to write about an eye-filling nana (don't confuse her with a nursemaid!) of substance? A contemporary Nana whose sallies and follies keep him awake at night? At first he doesn't know what to make of her, her past shrouded in mystery, her chocolate-coated present, her Slavic unpredictability, her erotic novel which fuels the flames of adultery in certain publishers. As he gets to know this Russian beauty from the Biblical sense to Freudian nonsense, he discovers that he is willing to handle more than he can fondle, that the Cosmic Joker has answered his prayers and then some, that he has become a character in a drama with no synopsis and no foreseeable dash into the sunset.

This author has never kept a journal. Like vintage wine, literature has to mature before reaching the taste buds of the reader. But this time he's beside himself. He has put all his other projects on hold in order to write this tale of lust cum love, curiosity cum recklessness as it began one drizzling February evening in the year of Our Lord 2001.

Pity, this tale bears only my nom de plume. Our original intention was to weave our efforts into a novelistic octopus with a ferocious appetite. I would write a chapter and she would follow up with a chapter of her own. The fascination lay in the fact that two authors would be describing the same events as they unfolded with two different voices and gender sensibilities.

Reader, this is not a novel in the ordinary sense of Webster's. I can make an ass of myself, but I cannot play God. I am at the mercy of an untamable monster: Reality. I can only promise you this. No matter where the story takes me and how it will end, no matter the rise and fall of my passion for the Marquise, every chapter vows to reflect faithfully the state of my heart and moods accordingly. I won't change a single epithet—even if my heroine turns out to have more fangs than toes!