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From Romania to France
via America Novels „ La Traversee du Styx
(Recrossing the Styx) Plays:
a Tragedy, a Comedy, a Farce & a Highly Controversial Sequel „ Flush Game,
or the Gospel According to Henry Miller „ Beyond The Styx
Nightingales DonÕt Sing |
GODEX/GODIN:
The Playwright Takes the Stand (essay) & First Act The Playwright Takes the Stand There comes a time when the
author of a controversial sequel to a classic needs to come out of his shell
and testify on his own behalf. Firstly, I am a staunch
ally of those who don't believe in the business of writing sequels. For the
most part they are worthless masturbations of pretentious pen pushers who
want to cash in on someone else's glory. But when a dramatist puts humanity
on trial and passes the verdict (guilty of waiting!), he triggers a
philosophical debate. And instead of writing a dull academic essay, this
humanist chose the art form that suits him best—playwriting. For over half a century of Godot's undisputed reign, sundry critics and theatre-goers
have tormented themselves with the question: Who is Godot? A joke? God?
Death? The hopelessness and senselessness of Homo sapiens? When I saw Godot for the first time, I asked myself: What if the two
tramps get what they wish for (Godot's arrival)? Would they be better off? Would
they be worse off? Or would they be pretty much the same? Just because
Beckett wrote Godot with a
non-arriving Godot in mind, it doesn't mean that Godot with an arriving Godot is not possible. At the risk of
sounding pretentious, the latter Godot
would give us a more complete picture of the human condition played out by
the famous tramps. True, bringing Godot on stage tends to diminish his
ambiguous nature, but it can be done. That was my greatest challenge while
writing Godex/Godin—fleshing
out an elusive Godex. Is he a prankster, a businessman, a rancher, a Mafioso,
a cult leader, or the Almighty himself? I personally don't know. Beckett convinced us that
"astride of a grave and a difficult birth" there is waiting. Never
before had a playwright attempted to put humanity on trial and pass the
verdict. He found us guilty of waiting—waiting for the next paycheck, a
diamond ring, a new car, the Second Coming, a better world for penguins, etc.
We are always waiting for something to happen. In the existential farce, fear
is waiting, waiting is hope, and hope is life. But for a chronic pessimist
like Beckett, waiting is truckloads of misery. It is hope that keeps us
alive, but, as an Auschwitz survivor put it, it is also hope that herds us to
the gas chamber. Beckett reluctantly stated
that Waiting for Godot is a play
about waiting. I reluctantly state that Godex/Godin is a play about the cessation of waiting. But what really
is non-waiting? It is the grand illusion—waiting without knowing,
waiting spirally, or, if you fancy Nietzsche, the "eternal
recurrence." In my opinion Nietzsche's puzzling philosophical concept
refers to the eternal repetition of human follies. Not exactly the same
follies, but something similar in nature. The wisdom we can draw from Nietzsche's
concept is: Beware! If man's worst nightmares are repeating ad infinitum in a
different pattern, we should be prepared to deal with them, making sure that
another Hitler or Stalin won't get their chance. With all due respect,
Beckett only gives us the broad, static picture of waiting. He skips the
dynamics of the eternal process. The Waiting River springs from Mt. Hope and
flows into the Sea of Promise. Along its banks there is boredom and despair
(when does the waiting end?), resolution or revolution (no more waiting!),
joy and celebration (free at last!), disappointment and emptiness (what
now?), and hopelessness and meaninglessness (this is the end!). My play completes the depressing spiral of human condition. The
arrival of the elusive Godex puts an illusory end to the tramps' misery, for
man and woman cannot endure without some tangible rewards for their hope and
waiting. Beckett mainly explores the boredom and despair associated with
waiting. He chooses to ignore (do not forget the irresistible tease of a
non-arriving Godot!) that the cessation of waiting, along with its
philosophical implications, is a major prop on life's stage of sound and
fury. His river flows back to its source. Mine follows the natural course. Despite Godex/Godin being a sequel, it stands on its own. I do confess that
I incorporated some of Beckett's jargon and flirted with some of his motifs
for the sake of continuity, but one need not to be familiar with Godot in order to enjoy Godex, as one need not visit Beckett's tomb in order to
appreciate his works. By writing Godex/Godin I didn't intend to measure my dramatic chops against
Beckett's. What a catastrophe that would have been! The man is a Goliath, and
taking a cheap shot at David is not my style. Beckett rose from the ashes of
World War II. I rose from the ashes of communism. I do know a few things
about hope and waitingÉ ACT I Riverside. Lamppost, bench, garbage can, rock. Locked
cage (conspicuous lock) containing apple hangs from lamppost. Evening.
Squatting Sisi downstage arranges credit cards in seven groups of four, puts
them in her pockets—the three pockets of her vest and the four pockets
of her pants, gets up, sucks them in a pattern described below. Upstage
corner, Pipi groans and moans, turns, buttons his fly, walks to lamppost,
stares at the apple. PIPI: How's the sucking? SISI: Bone dry. PIPI: Definitely a pastime. SISI: Naughty days! PIPI: Habit works in mysterious ways. So does relaxation. SISI: Ha! Who do you think would suck twenty-eight
bone-dry credit cards with a goal like mine and call it relaxation? PIPI: Do you see another sucker? SISI: Damn Pipi, how many times have I told you not to
interrupt my oral exercises? PIPI: Why not? SISI: Because I lose track of the sucking sequence! Now I
canÕt tell whether the Visa IÕve just sucked is from the back pocket of my
pants or from the right pocket of my vest. PIPI: I'm quite positive it's the one you keep in your
underwear. SISI: It's for emergencies! PIPI: That's what you always sayÉ SISI: Don't bother to enlighten me. I shall start from the
very beginning. PIPI: God, have mercy on me! SISI: As you know, my goal is to suck twenty-eight credit
cards in a successive manner in which no card should be under-sucked.
Over-sucked—yes! But definitely—not under-sucked! Good. First I
equally distribute the plastic in my seven pockets: the left pocket of my
pants, the left pocket of my vest, the inside pocket of my vest, the right
pocket of my vest, the right pocket of my pants, the right back pocket of my
pants, and the left back pocket of my pants. Swell. Had I possessed
twenty-eight pockets, each with its credit card, the sucking would have
turned into a dull, dumb show, unworthy of a professional like me, but in
these hard times, it is the most
challenging sucking business I've ever indulged myself in. What? So here I
go—watch me closely. (Sisi takes credit card from left pocket of her pants,
sucks it, exchanges it with credit card from left pocket of her vest, sucks
it, exchanges it with credit card from inside pocket of her vest, sucks it,
exchanges it with credit card from right pocket of her vest, sucks it,
exchanges it with credit card from right pocket of her pants, sucks it,
exchanges it with credit card from right back pocket of her pants, sucks itÉ) SISI: And here I am completing the first cycle as soon as
I finish sucking the Diners' Club International from the left back pocket of
my pants. Done it! You follow me? No? You're missing out. Where was I? Ah! To
avoid sucking the same cards over and over, I shuffle them in my pockets. But
is that enough? PIPI: YES! SISI: That's what I said to myself at the very beginning,
but after a close investigation of the matter, I realized that thanks to
Murphy's Law I could very well have sucked the same cards over and over. And
the illumination of transferring the plastic four by four instead one by one
sang within my pineal gland like a verse of Isaiah, or of Jeremiah, or of
Elvis the Pelvis. So here I go. Watch me closely. PIPI: I'm tired. SISI: I begin first with the left pocket of my trousers.
Number one. I suck it! Number two. I suck it! Number three: I SUCK IT! PIPI: STOP IT! SISI: Am I boring you? PIPI: It's awful! Ever since I stopped crawling IÕve
constantly deluded myself, Pipi, take it easy, you deserve to be happy once
in a while. I've exerted myself like Sisyphus... Lucky for him, he pissed
marvelously! I've lived humbly among the humble, devoid of pride, cash and
respect. I even went to the fish market and sold roses. To no avail! All IÕve
ever gotten was misery and a good dose of... Damn! (Pipi runs upstage corner, holding hands between his
legs. Sisi laughs and sings.) SISI: A philosopher having quibbled
with his wife To a massage parlor proceeds to
examine his life. Asked by the madam whose bud
heÕd like to pluck He says, "Rumor has it
you're a jolly good..." (Pipi returns, zipping up his fly.) PIPI: I was suffering and you sang your heart out. SISI: (Singing.) A
philosopher having quibbled with his wifeÉ PIPI: Stop it! SISI: The melancholic truth is: you're a lousy pluck! PIPI: I'M GOING! SISI: You can't. PIPI: Why not? SISI: We're waiting for Godex. PIPI: Damn! (Silence.) SISI: Is this Godex a serious person? PIPI: Absolutely... Possible... Well, nobody's perfect.
Why? SISI: The way he keeps his appointments. PIPI: Perhaps he comes from a foreign country. SISI: Legal alien? PIPI: I wouldn't be surprised. SISI: What the hell is he doing here? PIPI: How do I know? They say he talks in parables. SISI: I HATE PARABLES! (Silence. Sisi grows restless.) SISI: Say something! Talk to me! Make me feel I give a
damn! PIPI: Esse est percipi. SISI: I beg your pardon? PIPI: I'm waiting for you to come up with something
better. SISI: Better than what? PIPI: Than sucking bone-dry credit cards, fat lips! SISI: You're cruel! PIPI: Such is life! SISI: That's the idea. Let's feel sorry for ourselves. PIPI: You first. SISI: After you. PIPI: Why me? SISI: I was the enlightened one. PIPI: I see... We lie in the sunshine, but how terribly
cold it is! SISI: We could never find solid ground to crawl on. PIPI: We've been punished by our virtues. SISI: We've been strengthened by our vices. PIPI: We've been jumping from one side to another. SISI: (As a revelation.) I've been seduced and reduced! PIPI: IÕve been softened in the head from jerking off
visions! SISI: If only you could tell the direction the wind was
blowing. You'd no longer sprinkle your pants. PIPI: If only I could savoir-vivre. SISI: Savoir-faire. PIPI: Savoir-vivre! SISI: Whatever. (Silence.) SISI: What do we do now? PIPI: (Dancing.) Feel. SISI: Is it fun? PIPI: Oh, yes, definitely. I read some place that feeling
is a nimble dancer. Come join me. Great thoughts will come. SISI: No wonder Nijinsky went mad. (Joining Pipi.) It'll kill time. PIPI: Don't breathe in my face. You stink of cheap booze. SISI: That's better than nothing. PIPI: Don't step on my foot! SISI: I'm not Baryshnikov! (They stop and listen.) PIPI: I hear strange voices... SISI: Cries of madness squeal in my ears... PIPI: Words of suffering... SISI: Abandoned hope... PIPI: Tumult that whirls forever... SISI: Through turbid air... PIPI: Timeless! SISI: Turbid! PIPI: Doom and gloom all around us... SISI: Dirt and humbug crawling like lice... PIPI: Exasperation... SISI: Intellectual castration... PIPI: Listen! SISI: Feel it! PIPI: I see the dreary swamp... It's over! SISI: No! PIPI: The ferryman waves... SISI: What for? PIPI: To take us across for two bucks a head. SISI: (Producing a credit card.) Does he take plastic? PIPI: Never! He'll throw us into the filthy swamp. SISI: Damn! (Thinking.) Does it make any difference where he's gonna dump us? PIPI: I guess not. It's all the same. SISI: What about Godex? PIPI: What about him? SISI: Where does he come in? PIPI: How do I know? He'll tell us when he gets here. SISI: What about us? PIPI: Do we have to go through this again? SISI: No change? PIPI: Change!? We've traded our evenings for his... this
and that and God knows what... and he wants change! (Silence.) SISI: IÕm hungry. Give me an orange. (Pipi takes a lemon from pocket and throws it to Sisi.) SISI: It's a lemon! PIPI: Then I must be out of oranges. Suck the lemon. It
oozes with Vitamin C. SISI: (Throwing the lemon back.) It's too sour. PIPI: (Sucking the lemon.) The Savior never complained. SISI: Complained of what? PIPI: (Grimacing.)
Taste, fool. SISI: Maybe he liked lemons. I don't! PIPI: They gave him vinegar, atheist! SISI: Don't compare me with Christ! (Pause. SISI rummages thorough the garbage can,
discovers a bitten off cookie.) SISI: Got milk? PIPI: That's not funny! It's copyrighted material. (PIPI grabs the cookie and stamps on it. SISI
approaches the cage and pulls the lock.) SISI: Pipi, I want the apple! Help me open the bloody
cage! PIPI: Out of the question! Haven't we suffered enough for
that Goddamn apple? Anything you like, Sisi, but not the apple! (Sisi subsides. Pause.) SISI: How long till Christmas? PIPI: Too long. SISI: So much waiting for a decent mealÉ (Daydreaming.) Wow, what a thingamajig! I'll take white meat...
dark, too... with extra gravy! (Sucking her fingers.) Can I have the whole shebang once more? PIPI: Wake up! SISI: You never let me daydream! PIPI: You make me hungry! Just have a little bit more
patience—till he comes. SISI: Who? PIPI: Godex. Then our evening is going to be just fabulous.
HeÕll check us into a penthouse, buy us designer's clothes, wine and dine us
at fancy restaurant, treats us to a Broadway show—Les Miserables most likely. He'll definitely give us the time of
our life! SISI: You lie so beautifully... Pipi, I can't go on like
this. PIPI: True. Waiting has undermined us. SISI: My mother... dust
to dust... used to cry a lot... I forget why... But I remember the sky was
much bluer, the grass greener, the nightingales' song sweeter... PIPI: All dead and buried. Time has no soul. SISI: And neither do we. (Pause.) SISI: Pipi, let's drown ourselves. PIPI: How? SISI: Let's jump into the river. PIPI: The water's too cold. We'll catch our death. SISI: What about tying the biggest rock we can manage
around our necks? It's quicker. PIPI: The quick and the dead... Where's the rope? SISI: HavenÕt you got any in your pockets? PIPI: Not even for a post-minimal sculpture. SISI: Then we canÕt. (Sisi sights the end of a rope sticking out from under
the bench, pulls the rope out.) SISI: WeÕre saved! HereÕs the rope. (Sisi ties the rope to the rock.) PIPI: On the other hand it might be better to exhaust the
limits of the possible first. SISI: We've exhausted everything! PIPI: It's not certain. SISI: Pipi, let's jump. PIPI: We can't. SISI: Why not? PIPI: We're waiting for Godex. SISI: Damn! What if he doesn't come? PIPI: WeÕve been told he'll come for sure this evening. SISI: WHAT IF HE DOESN'T COME? PIPI: DON'T SCREAM! Skipper Ivar says we must keep clam. SISI: KISS MY CLAM! What if he doesn't come? PIPI: Then... Wait! Let me think... We'll drown ourselves!
That's exactly what we'll do. SISI: Promise? PIPI: Sisi—such a distrustful animal! Upon my word
of honor. (Silence. Sisi becomes restless.) SISI: Let's do something! PIPI: Any idea in particular? SISI: I can't think of anything. PIPI: That doesnÕt surprise me. SISI: Can't you help me? PIPI: We can dance. SISI: Can't you come up with something without having to
sweat for it? PIPI: You're lazy. SISI: Is that bad? PIPI: It's debatable. SISI: That's the idea. Let's debate. PIPI: That will take forever. We don't have the luxury. SISI: Then let's talk about this and that, nothing in
particular. PIPI: We've been doing that for years. SISI: True. Let's try something more specific. PIPI: Something with a topic? SISI: Yes! PIPI: Something with a message clear enough to make us
eligible for a job with Western Union? SISI: Yes! We can always use the dough. PIPI: Something with a how-to formula that we can apply
every time we're in need of killing time. SISI: That's the idea! Something we can remember easily. PIPI: I can't think of anything. SISI: Life's drastic without plastic. How's that? (Noises offstage.) PIPI: Pst! SomeoneÕs coming! Godex at last! Our waiting is
over! (Enter Miss.) MISS: Mr. K.? PIPI: You again! SISI: YouÕre late! Why are you always late? MISS: I didnÕt notice, Mrs. K. SISI: Does time mean anything to you? MISS: I don't know, Mrs. K. SISI: Does anything mean anything to you? MISS: I don't know, Mrs. K. SISI: I don't know, Mrs. K! I don't know, Mrs. K! What the
hell do you know? MISS: I know how to mind horses, Mrs. K. SISI: A cowboy! That's all we need! PIPI: Leave him alone. (To Miss.) Come boy, donÕt be afraid. MISS: (Unzipping her jacket.) IÕm not a boy, Mr. K. PIPI: SheÕs not a boy. SISI: She could be a hermaphrodite for all I care! PIPI: (To Miss.)
So, you're a miss minding the horses. Since when have you been minding the
horses? MISS: Ever since I can remember, Mr. K. PIPI: Are you sure you didn't mind the goats? MISS: No, Mr. K. PIPI: How's your brother? Did he ever mind the sheep? MISS: Never, Mr. K. PIPI: What does he mind? MISS: Nothing, Mr. K. But he used to mind the mules. PIPI: Go on. MISS: He's dead, Mr. K. SISI: Dead? What do you mean dead? MISS: A frightful mess, Mrs. K. SISI: When did it happen? MISS: This morning, Mrs. K. SISI: Was he sick? MISS: No, Mrs. K. SISI: Did he have an accident? MISS: No, Mrs. K. Mr. Godex stoned him to death. PIPI: Godex!? SISI: Let's go! PIPI: Why did Godex do such a thing to your brother?
Answer me! MISS: I don't know, Mr. K. PIPI: Perhaps he had a reason... a very solid reason! MISS: I don't know, Mr. K. PIPI: Did he lose a mule? MISS: No, Mr. K. PIPI: Did Godex say anything to you? MISS: Yes, Mr. K. SISI: For God's sake, miss, don't wait for us to pull the
words out of your mouth! MISS: He told me that heÕs very fond of me and gave me one
of his best horses as a present. PIPI: Why did he do such thing? MISS: I don't know, Mr. K. PIPI: Did you mind the horses better than your brother
minded the mules? MISS: No, Mr. K. PIPI: Did you ever lose a horse? MISS: Many, Mr. K. One this morning. PIPI: And Godex told you that heÕs very fond of you and
gave you one of his best horses as a present? MISS: Yes, Mr. K. SISI: Pipi, let's go! MISS: Mr. K.? PIPI: Yes? MISS: I have a message from Mr. Godex. SISI: Of course you have a message from Mr. Godex. He
canÕt make it this evening but surely tomorrow. MISS: No, Mrs. K. Mr. Godex won't come tomorrow. SISI: That's fine with me. I need a vacation. PIPI: What about the day after tomorrow? SISI: Just in case heÕs busy stoning you to death the day
after tomorrow, what about the day after the day after tomorrow? What about
Christmas? MISS: None of these days, Mrs. K. PIPI: But when? WHEN? MISS: This evening, Mr. K. SISI: God, have mercy on us! Let's go! PIPI: We can't. SISI: Why not? PIPI: We're waiting for Godex! SISI: To hell with him! Can't you see what he's done to
her brother? PIPI: Stop whining! (To Miss.) Are you sure he said this evening? MISS: Yes, Mr. K. PIPI: What exactly did he say? MISS: He said go tell Mr. K. and his companion that I'll
see them this evening at sunset. (Pipi and Sisi look upstage. The stage is flooded in
red light.) SISI: It's sunset already! MISS: I must go. Good-luck, Mr. K.! PIPI: What makes you say that? (Miss exits. Pipi runs after her.) PIPI: What makes you wish me good-luck? (Coming back.) She's gone. SISI: Pipi, let's go. I'm scared. PIPI: Scared of whom? Godex? SISI: Yes! PIPI: Don't be a fool. He has no reason whatsoever to harm
us. SISI: He had no reason whatsoever to kill her brother! PIPI: To hell with her brother! We have an appointment
here. We've been waiting evening after evening, till night fell, for Godex to
come, lost hope, found rope, came very close to using it, and now Godex comes
and you want to run away! Are you mad? SISI: We'll come back tomorrow evening. PIPI: But he's coming this evening! SISI: We'll leave him a note saying that we were nabbed
for trespassing just after we got his message. PIPI: Impossible! (Pipi walks to and fro, stops.) PIPI: Do you think he'll believe us? SISI: Absolutely! PIPI: I'm beginning to think... after the latest
developments... (Looking at the sunset.)
Looks like it's gonna light up the earth... SISI: Who? PIPI: The sunset. SISI: It's not. PIPI: I'm beginning to come to the conclusion that Godex
is not in a reliable mood this evening. The stress of the day might have
affected him in some way or another, and... SISI: We can't take any chances. Let's go. PIPI: I mean as long as there is Godex, there is always
hope. SISI: Wonderful, wonderful reasoning. Let's go. Waiting is
safer. PIPI: True. The note! SISI: We forgot to write it! (Enter Godex, middle age, wearing an impeccable dark
suit and carrying a laptop computer. The theme from Strauss' Thus Spake Zarathustra accompanies him.
Pipi and Sisi freeze. Godex silences the music by pushing a button on his
laptop.) SISI: Is he the one? PIPI: The way he looks... not at all... SISI: I wonder who he is. PIPI: Ask him. (Godex advances toward them. They take a step back.) SISI: (Hesitantly.)
Sir, say you aren't Mr. Godex... GODEX: I am who you think I am. Here's my card. (Fumbling
through pockets.) I must be out of them. SISI: (Discreetly to Pipi.) Let's dash! GODEX: Did you take me for someone else? SISI: No, sir. How could we? PIPI: Not for an instant, sir. GODEX: I'm quite sure you took me for someone else. SISI: No, sir. We just didn't recognize you a little. You
see, your suit... GODEX: Aha! Did you expect me to walk in here wearing a
nightshirt smeared with pigeon shit and carrying a wooden stick? Did you? PIPI: It's not our fault, sir... GODEX: Even I must keep up with today's fashion! Giorgio
is a friend of mine. SISI: You're much younger than we expected, sir. PIPI: And you have no beard. GODEX: Being old and wearing a beard is an accident of the
past, an obsolete trademark. (Checking out the cage.) So, you've been waitingÉ SISI: For a very long time, sir. PIPI: Waiting has undermined us terribly. We've reached
the end of our rope. SISI: (Pointing to the rope on the ground.) Can't you tell? GODEX: As you could have reckoned, I am very busy. I have
many appointments, practically too many! PIPI: We appreciate your coming, sir. GODEX: Not to mention the industrial blues of my
profession. An outrage! Just read todayÕs papers. My disciples are falling
disgraced, victims of fornication! Do you think itÕs easy for me to cope with
this mighty plague? PIPI: Damn! (Runs upstage corner, holding hands between his legs.) GODEX: On the other hand fornication is a great equalizer. SISI: It's a pity to see him running like that. GODEX: Millions of others can't even crawl anymore. SISI: Can't you help him? GODEX: How? SISI: What about fondling him a little? GODEX: Absolutely not! Since my own son was accused of
moral misconduct for doing just that, I gave up such a practice. Your friend
must buy himself some penicillin. SISI: Do you have a son, sir? GODEX: Like billions of others. SISI: (To Pipi.)
You have to buy yourself some penicillin. PIPI: I can't afford it. SISI: He can't afford it, sir. GODEX: Is this what you want from me? After all this
waiting? Just to make one of you piss better! SISI: Sorry, sir. GODEX: Let's get down to business. I'm terribly busy. What
exactly do you want from me? Stop! Before we begin I would like to impregnate
the air with the following: I'm not in the banking business; I do not own a
Mercedes dealership; I do not practice plastic surgery; I do not give free
cheese on Sundays, etcetera, etcetera. Send a self-addressed stamped envelope
along with $100 minimum contribution to Godex Enterprises for a complete list
of what I cannot do for you. It's a
hundred pages long, single-spaced, 8-point font. SISI: You don't happen to have a list of what you can do?
I'll give you a quarter. GODEX: That's a $10,000 minimum contribution. PIPI: How big is the list? GODEX: One page, double-spaced, 26-point font. SISI: We can read it from the top of the Empire State
Building! GODEX: Please don't waste my time. Bill Gates is expecting
me next. PIPI: He does? SISI: Does he need you? GODEX: EVERYBODY NEEDS ME! He did try to rendezvous me
online, but I said, "No way, Jos, you've got to fly me over." What
exactly do you want from me? PIPI: Nothing much. You see we're trapped in the web of
life... SISI: Weak, vicious, worthless, and rebelliousÉ PIPI: Skulls of pride, dark mausoleumsÉ GODEX: Are you insinuating you've been molded as a
mockery? SISI: Like billions of others! PIPI: Forgive her for being frank. GODEX: You bums are wasting my time. You don't realize how
fortunate you are to have me in this dump! PIPI: Sir, please don't wound the air. SISI: Don't dwindle the dust, mister. PIPI: Our obstinate strifeÉ SISI: Puzzling destinyÉ PIPI: Need an answer. We creatures of fire and... SISI: Ice! PIPI: We prisoners of hazy opinions and... SISI: Habits! PIPI: Whirled by every wind, driven on like... SISI: Cattle! PIPI: Who have produced nothing but errorsÉ PIPI & SISI: Want to know the truth! (Godex unlocks the cage, takes out the apple and bites
into it.) GODEX: Tasty apple. (To Sisi.) Have you been tampering with my cage? SISI: No, sir! GODEX: How much truth can you endure? SISI: We're not afraid, sir. PIPI: We'll tell you when to stop. (Godex drops the apple. Sisi dashes for it. Godex kicks
it offstage.) GODEX: So you want to be saved. PIPI & SISI: Yes, sir! GODEX: I have to consult my laptop. SISI: You need a computer, sir? GODEX: Takes care of the dull aspects of my profession. PIPI: One has to keep up with progress. GODEX: Upgraded free of charge by my friend, Bill. Nothing
pleases him more than revolutionizing my way of doing business. PIPI: A PC in every pot! SISI: I prefer the chicken. GODEX: And I to
honor my appointments via the Internet! Can you picture me sitting on my ass
all day, going fat and blind just to please Bill? PIPI: He surely takes the fun out of life. GODEX: How he tries! One can never take the fun out of
life. One can only buy some. And Bill's got the money! (Looking around.) Nowhere a comfy seat. Why on earth did I choose
this dump for our appointment? PIPI: Had it been your office we would never have got past
your secretary. GODEX: (Looking them up and down.) True. SISI: Had it been over the dinner table, you'd have had to
deal with another bill. GODEX: No way, Jos. Nobody dips his bread in my soup!
Times are always hard. SISI: ItÕs not my fault they no longer accept my plastic. (Awkward silence.) SISI: (Kneeling.)
Have a seat, sir. I beg of you. PIPI: (Kneeling.)
You can have my back to operate your computer, sir. GODEX: Quite ingenious tramps you are. I wouldn't be
surprised if you get what you've waited for. PIPI: You mean itÕs not certain? SISI: What was the point of waiting? GODEX: Do you mind? Why make a fuss before you see what's
written in here? PIPI: Sorry, Mr. Godex. We're just a little bit nervous. SISI: Your messenger has frightened us with news about her
brother's death. GODEX: Aha! PIPI: Is that all you have to say? SISI: She said you stoned her brother to death. GODEX: Did she tell you so? SISI: Yes, sir. GODEX: Let's get down to business. I'm terribly busy. (Sisi gets up. Godex falls.) SISI: Do you deny it, sir? GODEX: (Vehemently.)
Don't question me! Since you put your future in my hands, you've lost the
right to question me. Isn't that clear to you by now? You've got to realize
that one thing is more necessary than another. I am the lamppost of... this
and that! DonÕt you think I ought to cast some shadow? You donÕt expect me to
live in the Greyhound station after building the Trampless Plaza, do you? As
a matter of fact, I can piss on all of you from a marvelous height! Deluge of
dull piss! Sink or swim! That would teach you something. SISI: I hate parables. GODEX: Did you say something? SISI: No, sir! (Godex sits hard on Sisi's back and slams laptop on
PipiÕs.) PIPI & SISI: OUCH! (Godex opens laptop and punches several keys.) SISI: Pipi, my knees are shaking. PIPI: I need to pee. GODEX: (Reading.)
Klapp alias Pipi; born on February 29th, D.G.R.; social security number
900-69-9669; no permanent address shown; no credit history! A mortal sin I
must type inÉ is a victim of fornicationÉ PIPI: It's a pity to see a man's life reduced to so
little... GODEX: Don't interrupt me! Qualification number for
salvation 666, based on the assumption that he repents last at the same time
as his companion, Krapp, alias Sisi. Krapp, alias Sisi; born on December 7th,
D.G.R.; social security number 911-00-0101; no permanent address shown;
terrible credit history as a result of writing bad checks and leeching off
the plastic industry. A forgiven sin I must type inÉ SISI: Thank you, sir. GODEX: Éhas bad breath and icy feet. Qualification number
for salvation 666, based on the assumption that she repents last at the same
time as her companion, Krapp, alias Pipi. (Closes laptop.) SISI: What does he mean with this business of repenting
last? PIPI: He means that one of us alone is going to be saved. SISI: Who? PIPI: The one who repents last. PIPI & SISI: NO! SISI: Sir, do you mean that only one of us is going to be
saved? GODEX: That's correct. PIPI & SISI: Who? GODEX: The one who repents last. How many times must I
repeat myself? SISI: What'll we do! What'll we do! PIPI: The best thing would be to repent. Maybe he'll feel
sorry for ourselves and save us both. SISI: Good idea. You first. PIPI: After you. SISI: I've never repented before. PIPI: Nor I. GODEX: Time's flying! When you hear the beep that's the
end of it. You better start repenting before the damnation virus takes over
your file. SISI: Repent what, may I ask? GODEX: Anything you like. The point is that any repentance
is better than no repentance at all. (Suggests Pipi and Sisi get on their knees.) SISI: Dearest Godex, forgive me for having written bad
checks, for I had delusions of congressman. PIPI: Forgive me for having no credit history, for I
didn't know it was a mortal sin. SISI: (Kissing GodexÕs hand.) Dearest, sweetest Godex, forgive me for my bad
breath for all my life IÕve fed on the shit around me. PIPI: Forgive me for being a victim of fornication for
I've disliked smelling roses through a gas mask. SISI: YOUR EXCELLENCY, forgive me for sucking my credit
bone dry, for it arouses me! PIPI: Forgive me for being born! SISI: (Clutching
Godex's feet.) Your
Super-excellency, forgive me for putting my future in your hands! (The laptop beeps.) GODEX: Time's up! (To Sisi.) You're saved! (To Pipi.) You're damned! (Punching one last key and shaking Sisi's hand.) Congratulations, Mrs. K. Well done. (To
Pipi.) Well, Mr. K., seeking what is true
is rarely seeking what is desirable. PIPI: It's not reasonable! (Godex laughs.) SISI: Sorry, Pipi. Such is luck. GODEX: (To Sisi.)
You'll come with me to the ranch and mind the mules. SISI: (Terrified.)
Can I mind the horses, sir? Please let me mind the horses! GODEX: I have no openings for minding the horses. Take it
or leave it. SISI: I beg of you, Mr. Godex! GODEX: Out of the question! SISI: At least let me take Pipi with me. He can mind the
mules better than I. He actually has a natural inclination for it. He's a
jackass! PIPI: Thank you, Sisi. GODEX: But he's damned! Can't you understand? SISI: Save him. All you have to do is to punch another key
in your laptop. GODEX: Impossible! This is the grand design of salvation,
and that's all there is to it. Nothing more to be said about it! SISI: (Boldly.)
Sir, we both want to be saved and that's all there is to it! GODEX: Are you mad? PIPI: After so much waiting and so little reward, who
wouldn't, sir? Don't forget we're humans. GODEX: Little reward? This is an exceptional reward!
You've got the best percentage, and yet you're complaining! Do you have any
idea how many usually are damned in order for one to be saved? PIPI: I'm not a mathematician. GODEX: You donÕt seem to understand, do you? Perhaps I
didnÕt make myself clear. Not that I give a damn about making myself clear. (Short
laughter.) Not at all. ItÕs only for the
sake of argument. You intrigue me somehow, really. I may even say you arouse
my ego. On the other hand I see no harm in casting a pearl or two once for
the sheer fun of it... SISI: Please, sir, no parables—if itÕs not too much
to ask. GODEX: As you wish, my dear lucky repentant. LetÕs suppose
everybody gets saved. Then billions like you have nothing left to fear or
hope for. Therefore nobody will care about waiting or give a damn about my
coming. Right? PIPI / SISI: Well.../ You see... GODEX: (Overriding them.) And when nobody gives a damn about GodexÕs coming, billions like
you will be saying, whatÕs the point of waiting? WhatÕs the use of Godex?
Right? PIPI / SISI: Well.../ You see... GODEX: (Overriding them.) General salvation means the end of... this and that, the end of
Godex Enterprises and many other things. The matter is a complicated domino
effect, a roller coaster for a mad philosopher, but for our purpose venturing
any further would be wasting precious time. As you know I'm terribly busy.
Bill's waiting! SISI: Oink! We appreciate your pearls, sir. PIPI: What about the percentage, sir? GODEX: As you wish, my unlucky repentant. As I clearly and
thoroughly explained in my bestseller, How to Be Saved With Zero Down, which
IÕm sure none of you've read, sublime chance is your only asset. What do you
expect? For two bums who have nothing to offer, except perhaps a few extra
IQÕs of no importance, a fifty percent chance of salvation is the best even
our good Lord could dish out while dangling from the cross. You donÕt realize
the odds of billions of others for a percentage such yours are less than
winning the lottery. I feel like IÕm repeating myself. Enough said for the sake
of argument. LetÕs not forget that I'm terribly busy. Bill wants to make a
deal! (To Sisi.) Are you coming with
me? SISI: No, sir. Not without Pipi. (Godex draws a gun and points it at Sisi.) GODEX: Think again. It may do you some good. SISI: Yes, sir! I'll mind anything you like—mules,
junkies, yuppies, aliens, you name it! GODEX: Wait by the lamppost till I settle with your
friend. (SISI obeys. Godex approaches PIPI.) PIPI: God, have mercy on me! GODEX: (Pointing gun at PIPI.) So long, Mr. K. Just think, you could have minded
my mules if your sublime chance hadn't been damned. PIPI: Are you going to...? GODEX: I have no choice. WhatÕs the point of sucking a few
more lemons if they all taste exactly the same? PIPI: (Sobbing.)
Can I say good-bye to my dear Sisi? (The laptop beeps.) GODEX: Bingo! I can't waste a second. As my custom made PC
points out, I should have terminated you by now and be on my way to the
airport. SISI: (At GodexÕs feet.) I beg you, Mr. Godex! GODEX: Get back to the lamppost before you run out of your
sublime chance! I can no longer
tolerate such melodramas. (Sisi obeys.) PIPI: What about a little prayer, sir? By the time you
count to three, I'll be finished. GODEX: All right. Nothing pleases me more than night
descending over reason. One! Two! PIPI: (Adopting a crucified stance.) Eloi, eloi, lama sabachthani! GODEX: I begin to weary of this motif. Mr. Klapp, be nice,
die quickly! (Sisi tickles Godex's underarm. Godex drops the gun.
The laptop sends a distress signal.) GODEX: (To Sisi.) You're
damned! (Sisi hops on Godex's back.) SISI: Pipi, help me! PIPI: Wait! I have to take a whiz first. SISI: Hurry up, for my sake! (Pipi runs upstage corner.) GODEX: Don't waste my time! Hand me the gun so I can shoot
you. I'll give you two bucks. SISI: That's not enough! GODEX: You don't need more! (Pipi returns, picks up the gun.) PIPI: Thanks for waiting. SISI: I'm used to it. Give me a hand! (Godex gets hold of the gun.) PIPI: Grab his pistol! GODEX: OUCH! PIPI: The one in his hand, floozy! GODEX: Stop fondling me! (Pipi and Sisi pass the gun from one to another.) PIPI: You're on trial, Mr. Godex! We accuse you of
genocide! SISI: Despotism! PIPI: Injustice! SISI: Incoherence! GODEX: Provocateurs! PIPI: We accuse you of greed! SISI: Your parables suck! GODEX: Putchists! PIPI: Tyrant! SISI: Write us a fat checky for the time we've wasted
waiting on you! GODEX: I can't! PIPI & SISI: Why not? GODEX: I'M TERRIBLY BUSY! (Godex attempts to seize the gun, which goes off. The
distress signal stops. Silence.) SISI: He's not moving anymore. PIPI: (Examining Godex.) He's dead! We have killed Godex! SISI: Is that bad? PIPI: When Godex goes, everything goes! SISI: After all he did to us? PIPI: (Moving about the stage.) Don't you feel a vacuum sucking the air? (Shivering.) Don't you feel the cold? (Listening.) Can't you hear the noise of the gravediggers? (Sniffing.) Can't you smell the sulfur in the air? SISI: No. PIPI: Nor I. Perhaps it's not as terrible as I thought.
Perhaps it might do us some good. SISI: It saved your life. PIPI: Let me embrace you. (They embrace.) PIPI: Good thing we
stuck together. Where would I be without you? SISI: In hell. PIPI: You should have been a prophet. SISI: We manage prettily the two of us, don't we, Pipi? PIPI: Yes, yes, we're superior swindlers. SISI: What a day! PIPI: After all, we couldn't have been better off. It
takes time and waiting to figure out. The question is: what's the good of us
being here? No, that's a different question... The question is: what are we
doing here? (Pointing to Godex.) Thanks
to him we happen to know the answer. Yes, we the weak, the desperate, the
vicious, the rebellious and so forth are proud to announce to billions of
others that in this immense confusion one thing alone is clear: weÕre no
longer waiting for Godex to come. He's been disposed off once and for all. (Slapping
Sisi's back.) We did it! SISI: Not so loud! Do you want to get us barbecued on the
electric chair? PIPI: You're right. (Night falls. The moon rises, shedding a phosphorescent
light on stage.) SISI: It's night already, and I didnÕt notice. PIPI: Amazing how time flies when one is no longer
waiting. SISI: What a big and shining moon! I've never seen it like
this before. PIPI: Every beginning has a new shine. When it wears off,
it's over... Well, shall we go? SISI: Not before we get rid of him. ItÕs safer. PIPI: Good idea. But how? SISI: Dump him into the river. Or would you prefer to dig
a hole with your fingers? PIPI: No, heÕs not worth the trouble. (They take GodexÕs watch and wallet.) SISI: Look at this wad of leprechauns! Worth saving your
life for. PIPI: Hardly worth the time we wasted waiting on him, but
worth all the same. (They also discover in one of Godex's pockets a dirty
mag.) SISI: The pig! Grab his legs. (They raise Godex, laptop in one hand and pistol in the
other, and walk offstage. Sound of water splashing. Pipi and Sisi return and
wave.) SISI: So long, Mr. Godex! Just think, Bill could have wine
and dine you if you hadnÕt run out of your sublime chance! PIPI: Adieu, Mr. Godex! Say hi to the ferryman! (Pause.) PIPI: Well, shall we go? SISI: Let's! (They walk in dance steps, singing at unison.) PIPI & SISI: O geez, o geez, o geez! Godex Rex no longer is! End
of Act 1
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